Anonymous asked: Dear Caz, I have a question. Why are you the coolest long distance friend in the universe? Oh wait, I already answered myself... BECAUSE YOU'RE CARRIEFACE!!!
Haha - I don’t know, Kate (I’m sorry: “anonymous”) *cough*…I just don’t know! But, seriously, I think you’re the coolest long distance friend in the universe! xx
When I hear the word ‘seduction’ two different scenarios come to mind.
The first is in the style of a scene from one of any number of detective films from the 40s and 50s. This is where a PI returns to his office after a hard day on the mean streets of LA to find a smokin’ hot femme fatale style chick sitting in his chair -cigarette in hand as she wears a feather fascinator, and boasts a neckline that reaches her waist. Not to mention the smouldering/slumberous gaze, husky voice, and sleazy jazz music.
The second is in the style of late night ads for sex hotlines where viewers are bombarded with images of women lying on beds with hungry eyes and Jolie-esque pouts. Or - alternately - busty, flawless-skinned beauties grinding on each other with the promise of some hot “girl-on-girl” action.
After considering the above scenarios in conjunction with the origin of the word ‘seduce’, I’m understanding more and more why seduction is so dangerous and why we need to make sure we teach our young girls - and guys - about the reasons it must be avoided.
Here is the root-meaning of the word:
late 15th century (originally in the sense ‘persuade (someone) to abandon their duty’): from Latin seducere, from se-‘away, apart’ + ducere ’to lead’ *
Sexy means to be sexually stimulating. Seduction means to use one’s power of sexual stimulation to persuade and control others; to separate and lead away from something.
In this light, I don’t know how seduction could ever be a good thing. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s one of the staples in your average girl’s tool-kit for snagging a man or getting their own way. But, having said that, we all know that it isn’t gender-specific; guys you have a lot to answer for, too.
Maybe it’s got to do with a downright mean streak. Or maybe it’s a survival mechanism.
Either way, I’m thinking we need to reconsider the status we have given seduction in our own lives.
Leyma Gbowee: Unlock the intelligence, passion, and greatness of girls
Naomi Wolf (gosh I love her) has made a bold speculation about Katy Perry’s video clip for the new song “Part of Me”, saying it is a piece of Marine propaganda (due to the way that it pays tribute to service-women).
Wolf wrote on her Facebook page , “I really want to find out if she was paid by them for making it…It is truly shameful … I would suggest a boycott of this singer whom I really liked - if you are as offended as this glorification of violence as I am.”
A girl from the French Edmond-Rostand Secondary School in Saint-Ouen-l’Aumone (not far from Paris) was sent home for wearing a “provocative” long skirt.
In France, all religious symbol are banned from schools and wearing a conservative, long skirt was seen to be as inflammatory as a Muslim girl wearing a hijab, or a Christian girl wearing a crucifix around her neck.
Hmm…any chance the girl just liked the skirt? According to her, she wore it because it was a beautiful day.
NOT COOL FRANCE!
Finally, a heroine worth loving! I don’t know about you, but these days I generally find that female protagonists give my gag reflex quite the workout.
Katniss Everdeen is strong and feeling and quite easy to relate to.
I just think she is such a realistic combination of female attributes. She is a huntress but she’s also a nurturer. She is powerful but she is also compassionate. It’s refreshing not to encounter a love-obsessed, super-shallow female character. Just sayin’…
Melinda has worked for years as an advocate for the right of women and girls to be safe from the harms of sexualisation, objectification and violence. Part of Big Porn Inc. is about these very things. About the book, Melinda says, “It’s a wake-up call about what’s really happening. It’s not even about sex. It’s about violence.”
Upon reading the book myself, I was increasingly disturbed by the utter violation of human rights and the way in which the porn industry, like a machine, chews up its victims and then spits them out. In order to put this book together, Melinda and those others involved in the production and contribution to it were exposed to pornographic images and videos which would disturb even the hardest of hearts. Thankfully, she was able to debrief with her co-editor and other authors throughout the process. Which made it that little bit easier. But even today, nearly a year later, she is still deeply affected by the material she encountered when putting this book together.
To add fuel to the fire, was and is the backlash from critics about what they claim is her ‘conservative’ anti-porn activism; being attacked from every side because she has decided to expose an industry which, in her own words, “…is an industry like Big Pharma and Big Oil. It’s an industry that wants to expand. It’s based on exploitation and now women are feeling pressured to provide the Porn Star experience.”
When I asked her how she feels about her critics, she said, “When certain people have written about the book, they don’t engage in the argument, they slander me on Twitter… I get death and rape threats.” She went on to explain some of the other personal attacks that have come out against her and other women like her – attacks which are explicit and cruel.
“A friend of mine told me an anecdote about an experience he had as a child. To a boy who was bullying him he said, ‘You’re not my friend why should I listen to you?’ It encouraged Melinda then and it continues to encourage her now. “I have great support networks around me. Great friends, family, and colleagues. And I don’t want to make it out as though I’m the only one doing this stuff. There are women all over the world who are doing what I’m doing.”
Melinda also went on to say that people have encouraged her by saying that this vitriol-fueled backlash is “a sign that you’re having traction…you’re threatening global and power interests. You’re threatening the accepted order of things. But they’re not going to win.” Clearly, Melinda would prefer that people engage with her work according to its own merit. But she is willing to push through all of this in order to see social and cultural transformation.
Melinda is one of the founders of Collective Shout – a campaigning movement against the sexualisation and objectification of women and girls in advertising, media, and popular culture. Collective Shout is a grassroots campaigning movement, so people from anywhere can upload pictures of and write blog entries about products, ads, or current trends which sexualise and objectify women. She refers to a song that has been brought into the spotlight for its misogynistic message, title “Bitch, Shut Your Mouth”. To this she says, “We’re not going to shut our mouths. We won’t stop. We are seeing things happen. We campaigned against Kanye West’s Monster video-clip and MTV decided not to play it because of community protest. Collective Shout is great for connecting people and gives other women permission to be brave and that is extremely rewarding.”
“It really encourages me to hear from younger women. They say to me ‘What you represent is what I’ve been looking for.’ Seeing young girls in school realising that there’s nothing wrong with them, it is the culture which is sick. I love seeing girls get angry…because they’re getting angry at the culture that is pressuring them to try and conform to unhealthy ideas about sex and what is beautiful.”
Melinda recalls a letter from a young student “She said ‘Now, I don’t feel like I have to live by the dictates of other people or society.’ Hearing from young women who have been impacted like this is really rewarding.”
Finally, I ask Melinda who some of her personal heroes are. She said, “They’re not well known. The people I admire most are women that I’ve met in the slums of India, women who have survived violence and sexual assault, women who have little resources but have made a big impact in their communities. None of them have recognizable names.”
But for one recognizable name, Melinda Tankard Reist embodies the hope that we all have of a world free of sexploitation.
Kim Kardashian steals the spotlight on the ninemsn news main page because some random threw flour on her at the launch of her new perfume – STOP THE PRESSES! How can we go on living! Kim Kardashian suffered a ‘pelting’ (literal word used by ninemsn journalist) with a soft, white substance used for cooking cupcakes, bread, and gnocchi. It’s a tragedy – I don’t know about you, but I think Humanitarian Aid or UNICEF should be all over that!
Or, maybe, there’s something really wrong with this picture.
Also in recent news: a mob traitor was allegedly killed and eaten by Serbian gangsters in Spain, Margaret Whitlam has passed away, and a woman was set on fire whilst walking down the street in Sydney. Yet, an American socialite/reality TV star, Kim Kardashian gets front page status. Sure, the woman who was set on fire WAS front page news. But how could Kim’s flour-pelting usurp it in importance!
This saddens me.
On Q and A this week, a member of the audience asked “Why is the political debate in Australia so shallow? Is it because our politicians think we’re stupid, or because we are stupid?” Thank you, man in Q and A audience! I think it’s a bit of both! “Oh, no she di-ent!” you may say. Oh, yes. Yes I did.
To save space, I’m not going to write about government transparency or accountability. I’m sure we’re all pretty much on the same page about that. And if we’re not, you’re probably reading the wrong blog.
In regard to whether “the people” (as I melodramatically love to call us mere plebs) are stupid, I would say that we are sometimes. If we know anything about our culture it’s that we are market/consumer-driven. If the media is feeding us what we want, then perhaps we need to start wanting other things.
I would much rather read about the Stand for Freedom Campaign which will affect our Indigenous brothers and sisters in the Northern Territory, or the way Melinda Tankard Reist speaks in schools about sex and body-image in order to empower young women, or maybe even about ways to survive the stupid Carbon Tax which is going to hit this country hard in July.
If all we care about is Snookie’s pregnancy, Brad and Angelina; or if the limit of our discussion extends only as far as whether Delta Goodrem really is a cougar at heart because of that whole Nick Jonas thing, then perhaps all we deserve is Kim Kardashian on the front page.
